I am flying over France's shore. The sun is still to rise. I can feel the cold of morning but I am at the same time immune to it. I fly down, past bunkers were German soldiers are lighting cigars in the morning mist, unaware of the Armada heading their way.
I rise, over the clouds, across miles of ocean, were I sense an enormous pressure is building up. This pressure is not clouds, but human thoughts. Anxiety, Adrenaline, Hope. All are focused on the sparse shore.
My perspective has changed. I feel sick. A boat rocks a wave. Foam is scattered over the heads of the men in front of me. I look around. I can see the same boats all around me throughout the mist.
I am flying again and my eyes catch the sight of big ships. I zoom in on an aircraft carrier in the distance. A captain. Big and burly. I can feel what he feels. There is something pushing at the front of my head. It's stress. There's too many emotions going on. I stare at maps and look out through the thick glass outside. In the distance can be seen little specks, thousands of them. Oh my god.
I am pulled up into the sky from which I speed towards the beach overtaking all those boats...
I touch the sand. Silence. Nothing but the wind and rain.
Explosions, bullets tearing apart young muscles. Crying. Millions of knives cutting through air. Pain. A wave of fear knocks me down.
I bury myself into the ground. I want to get away from this. Duff warsounds penetrate into the sand. I go deeper, and deeper, the sounds seem to change.
I am pulled into the Earth's core. But even there I can't find silence because the whole world seems to scream. The world is at war. The thoughts and hopes of the whole world reverberate like a bell throughout its interior. My head seems to explode.
I can't take it anymore. I want to get away, but get returned to the beach by the entity. It's as if it wants me to see this. More waves of soldiers hit the beach. Same terrible scene all over again. Same terrible fear. I struggle to reach the sky but fail and I fall back to Earth. I am lying on the beach between countless soldiers, who are either dead or horribly wounded. I force myself to get up. I am concrete.
Emotions are now building up in me like a boiler. They reach a breaking point. I can't take it anymore. I shout out, and am now pushing myself to get away for a second time.
It works. I am flying straight up, like a bullet piercing the clouds. I continue to go farther and farther. I do not stop to look back. The blue sky makes way for a deep blue, which soon changes to black. I can see stars popping into view. I keep on going further. I can see the moon to my right. I speed towards it with unimaginable speed. Currents of tears are streaming like rivers from my eyes. There are enormous mountains here. I crash down onto a plateau. Emotions stream through me like a flamethrower. I bury my face into the cold moondust and claw the rocks.
For how many minutes I have laid there I do not know. A moment came when some of the worst emotions faded.
I recovered myself - turned to gaze at the stars.
Little points of light. Twinkling indifferently.
I shouted a cry at the stars.
In mere seconds I was pulled towards one of those distant points. Stars streamed past like rain in a highspeed train. In one second a star came into view. It went from big to bigger, bigger and bigger until it loomed over me with all it's might. My viewpoint was that of a grain of sand. I felt like an ant. A STAR! A burning inferno of tremendous light. I tried to close my eyes but the light penetrated all. There was no escape here. A pressure pushed down on me forcing me to confront it.
Fear was replaced by Love. A tongue of flaming light sweeped though me. It was my mother. Another hand touched my forehead and I felt deeply relaxed. I did not interfere anymore.
The star approached a little closer, slowly now, until it consumed me in it's light, at which point I became a star..
It's hard to find the words to tell but I felt like ten trillion atomic bombs going off at once. I could feel the presence of the other stars, and they were..
- Whispering to me..
I could hear other stars whispering to me. Their voices were very soft.
STARS: Hello Earthman, :)
STARS: Do you know why this is happening?
STARS: "We love you."
STARS: "And we have been waiting for your touch."
STARS: "Do you know why we shine?"
STARS: "For you"
STARS: "Tell them, when you return home, that the stars are shining for Earth"
STARS: "And tell them that we await their touch no less than the touch of another human being."
STARS: "And do not be afraid Earthman."
STARS: "We are always shining remember?"
STARS: "Goodbye Earthman"
STARS: "We'll see you again soon."
I felt like falling from a building.
I woke in space.
Earth rotated into view. Lights were burning. It was night. I was pulled towards it. I felt deep sorrow and a deep longing for home.. I fell. I could see the countryside, the woods, rivers, cities, buildings, houses, my home.. I crashed through the roof, and returned to my body feeling startled. I got up from bed. I pulled the curtains away. Star were twinkling behind misty clouds. They seemed indifferent.
But there was a fire burning in me. I could feel it. Celestial fire..
"Okay" I said.
"I am going to show them how to get there."
Like the traumatic experience in my dream, the mass traumas of the last century have seemed to encouraged a collective leap in reflexive self-awareness. Deep within the malignancy of modern individualism is a longing to restore some larger context. Some meaningful end for runaway means. (The Dream of Spaceflight: Essays on the Near Edge of Infinity) (Wyn Wachhorst)
Wyn Wachhorst has argued that Western society has felt a deep urge to recover some sense of meaning. For the West, with it's science, has created himself a despiritualized universe devoid of meaning.
The mass traumas were a wakeup call, in a sense a part of the growing up stage. From the lowest pits of doom to the highest possible aspirations. We will ultimately travel back to the stars in order to realize our highest nature.
Space is calling.